Since June 27th when my best friend was in a horrible freak accident, I have had a hell of a year. I thought I had lost myself totally again and would not bounce back this time.

At the time of her accident I already felt like I was barely hanging on to my faith, hope and love. I for sure felt like my joy was very low! Then when she left us July 1st there was nothing left but anger and grief.

When I came back to Oklahoma in 2017 the life I had was very different than the one I came back here to have. I kept holding on to the things of the past. The platforms I had and purpose I felt I had before my seperation and divorce was lost in the transition.

I stepped completely out of “ministry” a couple of years ago and eventually found myself struggling to even go to church and forcing myself to go. I sure haven’t been consistent with when I have gone. I have lots of reasons on this but most are probably excuses. When Covid shutdown happened is when I really lost that main connection.

Covid pandemic exposed so much in this world and in even my own heart. I found anger and disappointment in humanity was a major part of my spiraling 🌀 down the wrong emotional path.

In 2013 or even before that, I had started a journey of promoting and encouraging other businesses and ministries. Part of what I did was book a couple of Christian country artist, had a blog, did interviews, podcast and even had a radio show. So when I came back here that entire life was entangled with my divorce and pain. I would try and try to make it still work and it didn’t ever go anywhere.

It wasn’t until I lost Maver that I realized I had already spent the last 6 years living in a continuous state of grief. I read a post that said we don’t just grieve the ones we loose but we grieve the dreams and what would have been in the future with them. I was still grieving the loss of my dreams. Not really the person I left but all that was connected to that life.

Yes I did stop doing ministry and even really walking in the things I did before but I was living even though I felt like I wasn’t living the best life I knew I could be living.

I believe 100% that having my family close by and having all of my farm animals in my small backyard farm is what’s kept me wanting to even be here at all to try to live with a purpose again.

A talk with my daughter about my old blog and website is what opened my eyes to realize I still have as much purpose, passion and vision as I always have. IT JUST LOOKS DIFFERENT!

One of my life long friends has been on a journey of finding her place and where God wants her again. I have been with her this weekend in OKC to help get her moved. She is moving back to Tulsa and going to Victory church which is my all time favorite church. So I will have a place to go stay with some and attend this place to fill up with hope, love and joy. I have my small home church group local as well. It’s important to have a place to remind you that God is Hope, Love and Joy!

After talking to my daughter and creating a new blog, website and social media platform, I have been having so much fun, especially this weekend. I had so much fun and knew that I was going to be okay. I felt alive again. I talked to vendors and the Farmers Market and networked.

I love it that I can help promote and encourage others in a totally different area of life and still bring them hope, love and joy.

I love learning about growing my backyard farm Cross G Backyard Farms and excited about what the future with this will bring.

I would love to even set up a farmers market at my place this spring and bring others together to share their business and dreams. So many ideas again. So many possibilities!!!

I know this was a long post but I wanted to share what’s been happening in my heart and life in hopes it will encourage you.

YOU ARE MISSED DAILY MY FRIEND

Blessings from Cross G Backyard Farms

Eph 3:20

Cassie G