WOW I can not believe it is March of 2018 already. I have been back in Oklahoma for a year this month.
I have learned a lot about myself in a year. Wisdom and Knowledge are God’s to Give and boy has He given it!
I have learned that it was okay to forgive myself for shortcomings as a mom, daughter, wife, and as God’s kid. This is something I have to remind myself of often but such a freeing place to be.
I learned that my inability to SEE GODS LOVE for me aborted the ability to truly LOVE others the way God designed.
I have learned that nothing here on this earth really matters outside of God’s LOVE and the people He gave us to love. The things that we make into a big deal in relationships are nothing compared to loving each other right here in the moment.
I have learned that once you speak words into existence you can never take them back. God says life and death are in the tongue. God also tells us I set before you life and death, NOW CHOOSE LIFE!
I have learned that I cared way too much what others think. I allowed my circle to be way too wide and listened to voices that may have had good intentions but bottom line they are not God.
I have learned that each thought, each circumstances I find myself in God has faced it through His Son! He gives me strength, mercy and grace to face it as well.
I learned that all I have to do is ask God! One day recently He said to me; You have never asked me what I think and what I have to say about this. It was an area that I had many thoughts on, others had many thoughts on but GOD HAD A WORD ON! God’s word always trumps!
I learned that I in myself am not capable of any of this!!! I am not capable of surviving life, loving myself, loving others or even loving God.
I learned that I can love beyond hurt, pain, and disappointment in myself and others. How can a person do this? God! The word says GOD is LOVE! I am in God and He is in me so therefore I can love and I am LOVE.
I learned that I do not have to be angry to protect myself from being vulnerable. God protects me with His loving arms.
I learned that I can love so much more than I thought possible even if it is never returned by human love. God fills up what He gives me to pour out so I am never bankrupt!
I am sure there is much more that I have learned but these are the most significant areas in my life.
I wished I could take the knowledge I have learned this year and go back in time to some significant places, before specific people and have a redo. I can not do this but what I can do is live in the now and love in the now! I can say I am sorry and love beyond the past!
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In 2003 I was sitting in my living room watching a tv program, listening to Wynonna Judd singing I wanna know what love is and my heart was being filled with a desire to KNOW what LOVE is. This has been a very long journey for me. One that I am still on and will continue to be on for the rest of my life.
For me I have looked for love in all the wrong places. I have looked for love inward at my own self for love, I have looked in relationships that only became dysfunctional because I had no clue what LOVE was. Looking in all the wrong places for LOVE has caused me to give love out of all the wrong places. That type of love is not solid, it wavers, it judges, it is conditional and it never last past my own emotions.
Over the last few years God has been trying to speak to me about these things but I was just not getting past CASSIE to hear HIM! I was measuring HIS LOVE by my experiences with mankind and not the God-kind.
Through the circumstances of the journey God has me on, I have been back in my home town. The Lord has taken me down memory lane. I have literally driven to locations and sat there while He spoke to me about where He was at during certain times in my life. HE was ALWAYS with me! HE was ALWAYS LOVING ME! I have written many notes in my journal to help me discover HIS LOVE.
The journey I have been on the last few weeks is now moving from SEEING how much God LOVES me to how I am to LOVE others. I could beat myself up for all those I have hurt in my lifetime OR I can just start with LOVING!!!
I speak about and teach on God having BIG plans and dreams for our lives. I teach out of Eph 3:20, but God showed me that with out verse 17-19 there is no verse 20. If we can learn how deep, how wide and how long HIS LOVE truly is nothing at all can stop what God has for us. We will be loving out of HIS SUPPLY OF LOVE!! We will change not only our own lives but those around us with an overwhelming and unexplained love.
17 And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; 18-19 and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.
20 Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of—infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.
This morning I woke up feeling irritated and frustrated because I wanted this journey to be sped up so I could see the end results…lol This is a forever, life long journey!!!
I have been in some kind of ministry since I was in junior high. I have seen some results through out my life but not the ones that with LOVE that I know I will SEE. You can preach, teach, facebook post…. all day long but without GOD’S LOVE you are just making a lot of noise!
BOY HAVE I BEEN NOISY….
1 Corinthians 13Living Bible (TLB)
13 If I had the gift of being able to speak in other languages without learning them and could speak in every language there is in all of heaven and earth, but didn’t love others, I would only be making noise. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy and knew all about what is going to happen in the future, knew everything about everything, but didn’t love others, what good would it do? Even if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, I would still be worth nothing at all without love. 3 If I gave everything I have to poor people, and if I were burned alive for preaching the Gospel but didn’t love others, it would be of no value whatever.
4 Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, 5 never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. 6 It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. 7 If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.
8 All the special gifts and powers from God will someday come to an end, but love goes on forever. Someday prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge—these gifts will disappear. 9 Now we know so little, even with our special gifts, and the preaching of those most gifted is still so poor. 10 But when we have been made perfect and complete, then the need for these inadequate special gifts will come to an end, and they will disappear.
11 It’s like this: when I was a child I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I became a man my thoughts grew far beyond those of my childhood, and now I have put away the childish things. 12 In the same way, we can see and understand only a little about God now, as if we were peering at his reflection in a poor mirror; but someday we are going to see him in his completeness, face-to-face. Now all that I know is hazy and blurred, but then I will see everything clearly, just as clearly as God sees into my heart right now.
13 There are three things that remain—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
Sometimes we stop at the end of Chapter 13. We wonder how are we going to do these things, love this way, and act this way? Chapter 14 tells us how!
“Pursue [this] love [with eagerness, make it your goal], yet earnestly desire and cultivate the spiritual gifts [to be used by believers for the benefit of the church], but especially that you may prophesy [to foretell the future, to speak a
new message from God to the people].”
1 CORINTHIANS 14:1 AMP
I am on a journey to purse LOVE with ALL MY HEART, MIND, EMOTIONS, AND FOLLOW THROUGH WITH ACTIONS!
