Wow it has been forever since I have published a blog! I woke up this morning and started looking over my journal, and decided to share a little with y’all.
If you have been following my blogs or social media, you know this last couple of years there has been some STUFF… Stuff is a nice word for another S word some would use lol. I am going to share how I have been dealing with S in my life!
I had been in Welch for about two months if that when I had a powerful awakening from the Lord. I was separated from my husband and living on an air mattress in my daughters new home. They were still in Tulsa and finishing her senior year at college, I was getting a lot of alone time with God. I had felt nudged to pick up a pretty composition notebooks at the dollar tree and found out why!
One very early morning as I was waking up, I heard these words.
“Get your notebook 📓 and today we are going to build a wall”. I said a wall? “Yes we are going to build a wall one block at a time and call it Cassie’s Wall of anger”. Now I know y’all are going oh yeah right, you talk to God like that???? Actually yes and I can’t explain any other way than watch Eat Love Pray! In her prayer scene she ask God what am I going to do God, tell me what to do! Then her own words, own mouth she says “Go back to bed Liz”. God speaks to us in our own words, own voice and thoughts! We just don’t always recognize it.
Okay so back to my dialogue with my Papa God. I asked God what He meant about a wall of anger. He continued to speak to about how I have wrong mindsets and hurts that have built a wall one block at a time in my life. Now it was time to write each one down as they come to me in prayer and thoughts. I got out my pen and notebook and begin to draw blocks and write down things that came to me. I thought it would be five little blocks on the paper. NOPE!!! It was a page and a half!
I drew out my blocks one at a time and wrote in them my thoughts or deep wounds. When I was finished I was then angry. HMMM WALL OF ANGER… I said wow well thanks a lot now I have this wall and now what! God continued speaking to me even in my S attitude. He let me know that we wouldn’t leave that wall there. One at a time He and I would break my wall down. We would take each thought or hurt and speak love and life into it until it was removed.
Can we say Whew!!
Today I would like to share a few with you!
Block number 12
No more room for people! People=Hurt
Truth, Love and Life
God says to Love your neighbor as yourself.
Is there room for God? Then there is room for people. Is there room for you, Cassie?
If you love God with ALL your heart ,make room for Him, accept HIS LOVE and love yourself then there is A LOT OF ROOM!
- Be rooted deeply in His love Eph 3
- Love Him with all of your heart; the broken and the whole areas.
- Give Him your fear
- Love yourself enough to enjoy people even in their weakest moments.
- Love them in-spite of the past! Yours or theirs.
Now remember this is in my journal and just thoughts as they came to me. So it’s not well written lol
Block 7
No one will ever be allowed to demean me or put me down again
Truth, Love and Life
No weapon formed against me shall prosper! He takes care of that not me.
If God is for me who can be against me?
What the enemy means for harm my God will always use it for His glory.
Only what God says about and to me is the TRUTH! If it doesn’t line up with TRUTH shake it off!
Block 5
If I have the wall of anger; I will feel safe and less vulnerable!
Truth, Love and Life
This wall of anger entraps me!
This wall keeps me from being the real and true Cassie.
Be angry and sin NOT! This wall truly = SIN.
Jesus was humble and gentle at heart. Matt 11:29
If anyone had a reason to have a wall of anger it was JESUS. If He could remain in love, humbleness and gentle, that’s what my calling is as well.
Block 2 and this is a huge one for me!
IM DISPOSABLE! Like an article intended to be used once or until no longer useful, and then thrown away!
Truth, Love and Life
God has NEVER disposed of me!
I have never disposed of me! I have always continued to press forward and never give up!
God wanted me before I was in my mother’s womb and He STILL WANTS ME!
I want me and I don’t plan on throwing ME away!
I am always useful in God’s Kingdom. If my sole purpose is just to Praise Him and Love Him I always have purpose.
I do make a difference
I matter
All those who walked away from me in my life, did not make me any less valuable!
I am eternal in HIM!
Okay so these are just a few. There are many many more… But each moment I spend with my Papa God we work on these blocks to remove them. Some blocks get removed all in one solid kick down. Some blocks get chiseled at a Little at a time. Some blocks I am just not there yet. BUT my God won’t give up on me and neither will I!!!
I know that Cassie, the healed and whole Cassie. The childlike Cassie who loves openly with no fear is coming out of hiding. With one block at a time I am being restored to who He says I am!
I pray that you ask your Papa to show you any blocks that keep you from knowing His powerful LOVE! He is a gentle God and He will not push you but leads and guides you one block at a time.
Dream Catcher 3:20
Cassie Gilman
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