Let me first start by saying, this will not be a short blog. So grab a cup of coffee and settle in for a few .
I also want to say that we sometimes get in a box and limit what God can use to speak to our hearts and change our lives. I am going to share with you today; my life’s journey and how three movies have impacted me so! There are things and lifestyle choices I don’t condone in these movies. However there are lifestyle choices and things I don’t condone in my own life story.

The first movie that I will mention is The Holiday. This is where I got the title for my blog today. This movie is about two ladies journeys in overcoming their fears, suppressed hurts, and disastrous relationships.

Then we have Eat Love Pray. This movie is about another lady who finds herself waking up one day; married but lonely and no clue who she is. She goes through a divorce and sets out on a journey to find herself and God. A journey we have all been on

The final movie is Under the Tuscan Sun. The leading lady of this story finds out she has been betrayed by the one person she trust the most; her husband. After going through a painful divorce she sets out on a journey she never knew she needed. She is given a trip to Italy so she can deal with her divorce and emotions. It is this trip that turns into her journey of finding who she truly is.

I will be quoting from these movies throughout this blog.
I have always had this person inside that wanted more in life. I admired strong women. I would fall in love with movies like these above. I would see the “me I was” in them and the “me I wanted to be”.
Growing up, all the way to recent years I would find my identity in; who I was friends with and who I was in love with.

Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You I can tell are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend. ~Author

In the old romantic movies, a leading lady is confident in who she is. She stands and shines. The best friend in the movies is always behind the scenes. She is taken for granted and used as a backup plan. Always trying to be what everyone else needs and wants them to be.

As I was listening to the quote above I saw myself as Iris as she responded to Author.

You’re right. You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God’s sake~Iris

Now the way she uses for a “God’s Sake” and the way I mean it are different. She said it as a saying. I say FOR GODS SAKE -FOR GODS GLORY WE ARE TO KNOW WHO WE ARE! Be the leading lady of your own life.
I married at a very young age and had babies quickly after. I am so very grateful for my babies. I look back over my life in the area of boys, men, romance and love. I see where my way of thinking was wrong. These thoughts caused a lot of choices that led to hurt, fears, disappointments and regrets. Instead of asking God who Cassie was, what her dreams were and what her purpose was, I found it in others.

I jumped from one marriage into another. I found myself in the most dysfunctional relationship I could imagine. I continued to go back with this man because I believed the best was possible. I saw potential. I had fears of being alone. AND I was addicted to this dysfunction and drama. We divorced and remarried 3 times. Who does this? That’s what I would ask myself as I layered on years of guilt and shame.
“Who does this?” A person who is not being all they are called to be. A person; who doesn’t know who they are in Christ.

God dwells in me, as me~Elizabeth Gilbert/Eat Love Pray

Now wait before you throw stones at that quote!! God says in His word that we are ONE.

John 14:20 at that time when that day comes you will know for yourselves that I am in My Father, and you are in Me, and I am in you.
John 17:21 That they all may be one, just as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be one in Us, so that the world may believe and be convinced that You have sent Me.
1 Corinthians 6:17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I’ve been in love with being in love. Hoping I would find that strong woman I was so searching for; through being a wife and a mom. When reality is the only way to be a good wife and mom is to be a strong woman in Him first and foremost.

A man cannot tell me who I am, they can only mirror who I am.
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. ~Eat Pray Love
I have jumped from relationship to relationship or to dreaming about the next one in my life. I’ve thought if I find that “one” all will fall into place. I’ll become strong and have a backbone and be that woman I admired in others. I wouldn’t have had a backbone I would have had my husbands “backbone” I would have been as weak or strong as he was. Relying on; his faith and identity.

My children lived with me for the first few years after their father and I divorced. Then life become more and more complicated, as they each decided to go live with their dad. Children need both parents. So reality is this was not a bad thing. If I would have had my security in God and not as a mom this would not have rattled my world. This time in my life added to a sense of being a failure and a lot of shame.
I have been on a journey of truth and forgiveness for several years now. I believe I have arrived at finding truth in God and forgiving myself. It has been through many tears but worth it to know now I’m on the other side of that.

“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

Romans 8:1 with the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

In this journey I allowed the fear of living and being alone to control my life. I would step out to try to be a “leading lady” only to fall back on securities of others. In 2011 I moved out of my apartment and into a friend’s home to “help” them with a ranch and to “find myself”. My plans fell apart when this was the choice I made that caused my daughter to move to her dads to be with him and her brother.

From this time in my life till present; I have not lived alone. I have wished, dreamed and even planned to make that step. However the fear I had was stronger than the faith I had. This is all okay though. You know why? He is a God who meets is where we are. I’ve experienced things, traveled to places, and met people I never would have without this part of my journey.

Hebrews 4:14 Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

I have had people speak into my life and try to tell me that they see me stronger than I see myself. That has taken me a long time to see. Sometimes we get confused and lost on our journey. But God says He will make the crooked paths straight for us. If you are lost, don’t worry! He knows where you are.

“When you’re lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you’ve just wandered off the path, that you’ll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it’s time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don’t even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

It’s in these times that the SON will rise and shine light on your path!

Changing how we think and speak about life and ourselves develops who we become in this life. It determines if we will behave like the “best friend” or the “LEADING LADY”

Groceries, you need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you’re gonna wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Drop everything else but that. Because if you can’t learn to master your thinking, you’re in deep trouble forever.Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Proverbs 18:21 Words kill, words give life;they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

Philippians 4:8 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

There comes a time when we have to stop wishing and talking and start doing.

You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

So where am I at today? Am I in the best friend mode or leading lady? Well let’s just say I’m well on my way to leading lady!

My children and I have amazing relationships. I have recently encountered a friendship with a male who God used to heal a brokeness in me as a parent. He also allowed me to realize through this friendship that HE ALONE is all I need. Anyone else in my life is a bonus. And the big kicker is after 4 years I am now holding the keys to my very own little place to call home.

So like these ladies in these movies my joinery has brought me to truth, love and strength.

I hope that you too will take this journey! Become a leading lady! Besides they make the truest best friends!!

Dream Catcher 3:20
Cassie G