Tag Archives: Dreams

Courage

Courage
There are so many situations in our lives that take courage. I think one of the most courageous moments in my life was leaving the man I loved more than life itself.
I married in 2016 and shortly after our wedding it became apparent that we had a toxic relationship situation. The very first heated argument we had became physical real fast.
I have to say that I loved him and I believe he loved me. I believe people love out of their own hurts and what they know. I however didn’t love myself enough to see that love wasn’t enough.
I stayed and did this crazy cycle we had going on for 11 months. A month before our anniversary things escalated beyond anything I could imagine. I then realized that this was not only destroying me, but him and his ministry. Yes I said ministry. It takes a lot of courage to tell this story but I know God wants it told. So many behind church doors need the courage to make a change and get help. So I am sharing my story.
So one month from our anniversary, I put on my courage and drove away leaving him standing there crying and saying once again how sorry he was. I believe he truly meant that. However he knew he went too far, I knew he went too far.
I thought in my heart as I drove to Oklahoma to be with my children, this will be all right. I thought we will get help. I wanted to be somewhere I felt safe and get help for each of us.

Over the weeks and months to come I had to have courage to get out of bed and face the day knowing things were not going to be all right. I started my cleaning business here in Oklahoma as I kept hoping for a miracle. God blessed it so much that I was full time in 3 months. 
Long story short is, we divorced. He met another woman and life goes on. 
Now I walk in the courage to hold my head high and know God has great Big plans for CASSIE!  
I have made some pretty big decisions lately that has taken a lot of courage. If you keep following me here on Instagram or my blog, you will get to read all about them. 

““Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because GOD, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.””‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭MSG‬‬
Dream Catcher 3:20Eph 3:20
Cassie Gilman

Don’t let go of hope

Sitting here looking at my memories on Facebook. Wow Gods brought
me a long ways since 2017. I had planned a trip down to Texas to see my husband, in hopes of reconciliation of some kind. Then when the hurricane hit and flooded Houston it caused a shortage on fuel down there. I was not able to go.
It sent things into another whirlwind of anger and strife. My head was spinning with grief and confusion.

I remember back to this season of my life. Many mornings, nights or maybe even just randomly in the middle of the day, being on my face crying so hard. I was grieving so hard that I didn’t even recognize my own voice or cries. It scared the heck out of me. I thought this grief would never end. There were moments I literally thought I was going to die from it.

Though my marriage was not restored, CASSIE was!

The grief didn’t stay. The tears didn’t stay. Now I still have moments of sadness and tears but nothing like the season I was in 3 years ago.

I have learned to be well ME!!!

I am still finding my way and BECOMING the CASSIE God created me to be.

It’s exciting
It can be scary lol but
It’s exciting

There are things happening that are great big BRAVE things in my life. I can’t wait to share them as they take place.

But most of all, the fact I didn’t quit is a great big BRAVE in my life.

Whatever your facing today, this time next year will not look the same.

Hold on to Gods love

Cry if you need to
Scream out if you need to

BUT DO NOT LET GO OF HOPE

Dream Catcher

Eph 3:20

Cassie

Starting over daily

I am sitting on my front porch this morning watching the amazing creation of my Papa God come to life. Each morning the sun rises and a new day starts over. I was thinking about how we get that same opportunity each day as well. For that matter we get that with each breath we take in and breathe out.

See my Papa God gives us forgiveness that happened already on the cross. All we have to do is accept it. So when we recognize we just messed up and sinned against Him, we take a breath in and breathe out that past mistake. Then we walk right back into the knowing of being His child and being forgiven. I do not know about you but I have to be reminded of this all the time.

I am in a place in my life where I am trying to find my place again. Ultimately my place is with HIM, as His daughter and servant. However, finding my place in the community, in friends, in my purpose, in a role as a mom and grandmother is not always easy. But I get to start each day over as I discover what is not my place and what is.

See for several years my place was a codependent person, always doing for others so I would never lose them in my life. Doing for others is a good thing unless the reasoning behind it is not healthy. As time and hurts have went by, I have broken that cycle. Breaking this cycle left me at a place of discovering what is healthy and where my place is in life. So each day I start over with what I have learned and where I am at in this area. I have to let go of those years I was not aware of my sins and addictions. This is not easy when I still see the residual effects left on others lives from my past. This is when I have to trust my Papa is their Papa and He will heal what I broke.

I also spent at least 6 years in ministry, traveling almost every weekend with others. A life I felt so apart of, and loved. When my marriage fell apart I also lost that part of my life. I was a little wore out with it when I first came back to Oklahoma so a rest was great. As time has gone on, I have started missing that life. So here I am now trying to figure out where I belong in this part of my world. I am starting over each day with new opportunities and I just need to open my eyes and recognize them.

The last two years I have been finding myself again. Somedays I do not like the self I have found, other days I feel so strong. I have compromised somethings trying to fit in, trying to numb my pain and empty feelings. BUT each day I see that my Papa says it is a new day so you get to start over. Some of those days I end up repeating a past day, but each day I make the right choices I know He says way to go baby girl. The days I do not start over the right way, He says you will get it tomorrow, just DO NOT QUIT BABY GIRL!!!

SO WHATEVER YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH I AM HERE TO TELL YOU

YOU GET TO START OVER! RIGHT NOW!

DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT STOP STARTING OVER AND WALKING IN HIS NEWNESS EACH SECOND, EACH MINUTE, EACH HOUR AND EACH DAY!!!!

Dreamcatcher 3:20

Eph 3:20

Dream wild dreams

Live wild lives for Him

Cassie Gilman

Hannah Hogner! She’s Living Her Dreams

I am beyond blessed to be a part of today’s blog. Huge thank you to Cassie for allowing me to share today. One of the biggest things I know about Cassie is her desire to Dream Big! Dreaming Big is contagious and I want to share my Dream Big story. A little over 3 years ago I headed out on a dream of mine. I have had this love of fashion since I was in high school, I think when I began getting the fashion itch. I wanted a Roxy top, Lucky Jeans and Dr Martins because that’s what the cool kids wore and had. Here is where I insert a huge thank you to my parents because that Christmas that’s what I got. It might have been all I got. I don’t remember but I was so happy. I also desired to model but I lacked the confidence to try and it was always that secret desire stuck in the back of my mind. So now fast forward to January 2015. 2015 found my love for fashion growing and my desire to help and inspire others mixed in with my confidence in who I am and (more importantly) who I am in Christ. I set out on my blogging dreams and started Living In Grace & Style with Hannah Leigh.

It is a little bit of a leap of faith to put yourself out there for the world to see and for them to read your pieces. More like a little scary, but I told myself if I can help one person then it was worth it. Over the past 3 years God truly has blessed me with meeting some incredible people and given me some amazing opportunities. You see when you finally decide to go for your goals and dreams there are a few key elements to help you along the way.

1. Believe in the dream God put in your heart and strive for it each day.

2. Knowing who you are in Christ (this will only continue to grow)

3. Never ever give up.

Some paths are harder than others and things and doubt will try to come up against you. But you have to keep pushing towards your goals and what God put on your heart. Let me show you a little how it worked for me. I did my own blogging thing for about a year and tried to stay consistent and learned as I went. As the NFR came around that year I then began to struggle a little with my confidence. The western fashion blogging/ influencing was really starting to take off and I struggled trying to be me and be different. I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes or have them think I was copying them even if we might have had the same idea. They just acted on it before me. About 3 days in I finally took a chill pill and took it to God instead of trying to fix it myself or continue to feel the poor pitiful me’s. I took a turn for the better and kept doing my thing. About a year and half later I saw a dear friends post about wanting to start a group of bloggers and influencers called The Bleacher Babe Squad. I sent in my request and was elated to be selected along with some pretty amazing other women. I was beyond grateful for the opportunity that Brianna gave all of us. It helped me get out of my shell some and begin to talk to other brands and people. I was then given a huge opportunity to work with Wrangler and Cowgirl magazine on a fun shopping style commercial by the next NFR. I can not even begin to tell you how amazingly fun and what a cool opportunity God blessed me with. See, instead of having the poor pitiful me’s and giving up at the first NFR, I sucked it up and prayed. I gave it to God and continued on the path He laid on my heart. Not only did it bless me, it blessed so many other people as well. They saw a plus size, curvy girl, real size whatever you want to call it girl rocking what she’s got and it inspired them that they can do it too!

See, our dream big goals are not only to bless us but to bless others as well. Our journeys may all be different but, in the end, inspiring others and helping others in my opinion is what it is all about. I am now up to 2 years in and year two was another growth year for me and another huge blessing. I saw another opportunity to be a part of a Style Team that was part of the Boutique Hub. This team got to write blogs and style outfits and collaborate with an amazing amount of boutiques and brands. I was blessed to be selected and a part of this team put together by Ashley Alderson and Jessie Jarvis. It helped me in so many ways by growing and learning more about being a great fashion blogger and influencer. Along the way in year 2 a dear friend of mine along with her best friend started up a marketing and design business. Well this awesome business need models of course and guess who finally got the call to be a paid model! Yes this girl right here!!! I was completely elated as it had been a secret dream of mine since I was probably a sophomore/junior in high school. I remember my first shoot like it was yesterday! This again opened up another door of opportunity and by the NFR last year I was completely blessed to model in my very first fashion show!

I know this little blog has gotten lengthy but I wanted you to see what God did and is doing in my life, that He can do in yours too. If you see an opportunity and have peace. follow it! You don’t have dreams and desires on your heart just because God put them there so run with them. He said He will never leave or forsake you so even if you feel alone on your journey just know you are not. He loves you and believes in you and so do I! So keep dreaming big and never give up, for your journey will inspire not only you, but many!

xo

Hannah